A Perfectly Cursed Life

Because Blessings Are Overrated

Placebo Effect July 30, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kimwithak @ 2:26 am
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I’ve been in an intermediate-level funk lately.  Nothing to call up the therapist multiple times a week about; but still nothing to sneeze at.  At first I thought it was job stress coupled with the house.  While those may be contributing factors, I realized today what probably plays a large role in this funk of mediocritic proportions–I have forgotten to refill my medecine.

This sounds simple.  So many people in this country rely way too heavily on mood medecine to get through daily life.  I can safely say that I’m not one of those people.  See, I’ve been on one form of mood med since I was a very young adolecent.  Though I’ve tried to escape the family curse of anxiety and depression (and much worse things), it seems I caught the bug nonetheless.  That bug can be contained though, if I do the right things.  Which I usually do.

But it’s been summer and I’ve been busy and I’m notoriously lazy at getting medecine refilled.  It’s almost a blessing sometimes that I am reproductively challenged, because it’s been far too often that my birth control has sat in the Walgreens pharmacy when it should be in my kitchen drawer.

So tonight I picked up my medecine.

But that wasn’t all.  I also met up with an old friend.  It was really nice and it was great catching up with her.  I have fun just talking to her and wish we were closer than we are, both physically and emotionally, a lot of times.  As good as it was, it was the change of pace that made me snap out of it.  I’ve been listening to certain mood music for weeks now–trying to find a deeper meaning to the things I’ve been feeling.  It’s come to the place where I’ve been anaylzing so much that I’ve forgotten to live.  Breaking the monotony of my life (or even placing something in its hectic path) actually did a helluva lot of good tonight.  Though I had planned to listen to certain Mood Songs on the way back home (e.g., Billy Joel’s “Vienna”), I got in the car and realized that I had been doing too much to feed my moods and too little to actually get them under any sort of control.  In my quest to find meaning I’ve made a mess.  A medium sized mess.  It’s like a value-meal size mess.  I didn’t supersize it, but I did get the fries.

So starting tonight I’m taking my medecine–both physically and mentally–and giving myself a break.  I can’t possibly plan out a lifetime of happiness each and every day. Tonight, I will relax.

Tomorrow, I’ll start again.


One Response to “Placebo Effect”

  1. Den Says:

    Drug is a substance used as a medicine or in making medicine itself. On the other hand, addiction is defined not with the quantity of drugs taken but with the passion and intensity associated in taking those.

    I take Melatonin, Sleepasil, and Leizenzi to induce myself into reverie. With the kind of work that I have, sleep is such a priceless pleasure. I feel energized and refreshed whenever I exceed eight hours of sleeping.

    I take Vitamin B Complex and Marvel Taheebo because my sight catches them every day on our medicine cabinet. It is my mother who really takes it. I dont know what these two are doing on my system but one thing I know is that they will serve as an added protection, one way or another.

    I take Ascorbic Acid because it is one of the cheapest vitamins that I can take advantage of. I grew up taking a tablet or two of Vitamin C and it seems that it is already a habit already injected into my system.

    I take Therabloc. During my pre-employment medical exam for PeopleSupport, the physician found out that I have heart murmur. I consulted a cardiologist because of this and I have undergone a series of tests which pointed out that my heart and its beating is perfectly normal. However, it was ruled out that I am hypertensive and so I have to take Therabloc to regulate my blood pressure.

    I take Revicon. It fuels me up and it boosts my stamina. Just like everyone else, it has already been a part of my daily rituals. Be it Clusivol, Centrum, or Enervon— they are just the same. They all have the same purpose.

    I used to take Glutathione and soon I realized how expensive and ineffective it is. And even if I would earn a fairer skin, nothing will change. I will still be an Asian. I will still be the same Den. I quit taking this supplement and vowed never to take anything of the same kind.

    I am taking these drugs— along with other stuff which I fail to enumerate, to help me combat those illnesses. I just hope that there is something I could take to maintain my so-called sanity.

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