I received the following e-mail this afternoon from The Mister:
Grievances filed against *SamGrace* by *The Mister*
- Left clothing on bathroom floor
- Left soaking wet bag of cat shit and slurpee cup 2 feet from the garbage cans
Grievances filed against *Sam Grace* by *Rocky The Dog*
- Left box of books in my sleeping quarters
- shoved my balls under the couch
Failure to rectify such grievances will result in a swift kick in the ass.
I responded with the following:
Responses to grievances filed against *SamGrace* by *The Mister*:
1. Sorry. I will rectify.
2. I couldn’t freaking see and I had no shoes on. I couldn’t get to the GD garbage cans. The bag wasn’t wet at the time.
Responses to grievances filed against *SamGrace* by *Rocky the Dog*
1. If *The Mister* had moved his books where they belong, that wouldn’t have been an issue.
2. I did not shove any balls under any couch. I’m very sensitive to the needs of balls. I was looking for Rocky’s balls yesterday.
This, more than anything, reminded me of why I married this man.