You’d think after the great Thigh and Leg Debacle of Tuesday night, I’d have had enough KFC to hold me over for at least a few months. At least a week or so. But the instant I had a few free moments around lunchtime yesterday before going to a retiree’s house for work, I stop at a KFC. Having had that experience on Tuesday, I decide to go in as the drive thru is just too confusing.
I get my meal fine and other than the fact that they’re stingy on the extra napkins and I accidentally spilled pop on mine, I’m doing alright. I kind of scarf down the meal as I have time–but not that much.
Due to the napkin situation, I had to use the bathroom to wash my hands before I left. I got them clean enough to walk to the bathroom, but not clean enough to go to someone’s house. So I go into the one-person restroom and wash my hands. Of course, they didn’t have paper towel and only one of those crappy hand dryers, but that’s another story.
I turn around to leave and the next thing I know I’m on the floor, face down, in the KFC bathroom. On the way down I remember hearing a “CLANG” and I notice I’ve also run into a metal trash can.
In a mass of furry I pick myself up and look back to where I thought I last stepped. No water. No misplaced tile. No piece of toilet paper or anything to slip on. Just me and the floor. There was a slight slope of the floor leading to the floor drain, but nothing to cause such a fall.
Now, I’ve fallen a lot in my day. I’m a bull in a china shop for sure. But this was definitely the most violent fall I have ever had. It felt as if someone lifted my legs right out from underneath me and pushed me forward. And because there was a wall right there, I’m pretty sure I hit my head on it as well.
Even though I’m an attorney, and I know better, I leave without saying a thing. For some reason I’m shamed that someone might have heard my fall (and to be honest, with the trash can I’m not sure they could have missed it) and I just don’t want to deal with it. Plus I had to get to the retiree’s house. On the way over, I take a few alleve, already feeling the throbbing pain in my head and neck.
The rest of the afternoon was fairly blurry. The sad part is that I was driving and I probably shouldn’t have been. I don’t know if I really did do something when I hit my head or the alleve did it (though it’s never done it before), but I was woozy. I made sure to go to the chiropractor and ice my back last night to prevent a total disaster today.
I am sore as hell though. Weird places of me are weak and imobile. That feeling in your abs you get the day after doing a lot of crunches–that’s what my whole body feels like. Plus I have some throbbing in my head still.
Well, guess what Colonel? You’ll have to try a little harder to Kill this Fat Chick.