A Perfectly Cursed Life

Because Blessings Are Overrated

Things I wish I had invented July 18, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kimwithak @ 3:38 pm
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There are things that I was never clever enough to come up with.  Then there are certain things in life that I know, given the chance and the time, I could have come up with.  The latter haunts my dreams. So here is a list, in no particular order, of some of the things I could have come up with, but I didn’t:

  1. Stuff White People Like–I make fun of white people DAILY.  How did I not think of this.  Ms. Moxie and I come up with things like this in our sleep.  Why did we not come up with this blog and book?
  2. An Encyclopedia of an Ordinary Life by Amy Krause Rosenthal–Why didn’t I think of this earlier?  I write stuff like this all the time (I have three blogs, I kind of have to).  This was easily one of the easiest and most fun books to read ever.
  3. The Disposable Ziploc Containers–I hate having to remember to wash out and bring home containers.  I used to be the bain of my mother’s existence when I’d lose or throw away her good tupperware in school.
  4. Spanx–The bain of my existence for years has been ill fitting and painful undergarments.  So why didn’t I think of these smooth wonders?
  5. Crocs–I hate these ugly things, but someone thought of plastic shoes that are allegedly comfortable and now kids and adults alike everywhere are wearing them with glee.  Tell me that isn’t something I couldn’t have thought of–shower shoes in the day time.
  6. Bluetooth Headsets–I used to love the freedom of the earpieces for cellphones with the cord, but hate when the cord would get in the way.  Tell me how this thought didn’t lead to financial success?
  7. The laser level–not only does it create a brilliant way to line something up straight, it doubles as a cat doy.
  8. Eliptical machines–I get bored on tredmills, but don’t like stair masters.  So you think I would have combined the two to get an eliptical machine.  Maybe I just really don’t like exercise.
  9. The Furminator–with two cats you would think I would have come up with something that gets excess hair out better than anything in the history of the world.  You’d think wrong.
  10. Energy Drinks–The Mister loves these things and so do many others.  Who knew pouring a shitload of sugar and caffine into a can and making it taste like flat Mountain Dew would be such a seller?